Are you ready to have sex? Caller: Oh, my God. What kind of a woman are you to have sex this way on the radio? Howard: Don't answer that question. Caller: I can't believe you're really making me to do this.

Now, what I need you to do is put your private area over the woofer. In fact, my father was a radio engineer, and he proved this theory years ago. Robin: Howard! Caller: Do what? Robin: A woman cannot be aroused in that way. And I want you to sort of straddle the speaker. Howard: Take your speaker.You got a big speaker? Caller: Yes, I do. Could you turn the treble all the way down and put the bass all the way up? Caller: OK. First of all, what kind of radio are you listening to us on? You have a transistor radio, or you have one of those big sound systems? Caller: I have one of those big sound systems. Robin: How are we gonna do that? Howard: Very simple. You know what we're gonna do to solve your problem? I'm gonna have sex with you right now over the radio. Robin: You know, we have the most beautiful audience. Some people tell me I look a lot like Farrah Fawcett. What do you look like? Caller: Well, I've got blond hair, and I've got blue eyes, and my measurements are about 38-24-34. Howard: Oh, really? Well, let's see if we can't help you with your problem. Howard: What's your problem? Caller: Well, every morning I lie in bed, and the only thing I can do is think of you. View Quote Caller: I was calling because I have a really big problem. Alison: Shut up! You disgust me! I can't even look at you, idiot! Alison: Shut up! Shut up! Howard: I won't make any money. Howard: The audience isn't gonna be there. Howard: Alison, if I don't talk about you and me on the air.

Howard: Come on, last night we were laughing about this. Alison: Too bad! Howard: I said when we came here, if I was gonna win on the radio, I'd have to talk about everything. I need a life that is ours, that belongs to us. What are you talking about? Alison: Howard, not everything is for your audience.

View Quote Alison: How could you do that? Do you think that was funny? You think it's funny to make jokes about our personal life like that? You're an asshole! Howard: What are you talking about? Alison, I love you.

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